dan blocker to the pier



About to be swamped


My girlfriend A and I took a little break from beach hiking while she went and got married. We were back at it this past weekend, hiking from Dan Blocker Beach to Malibu Pier. The tide was rising, which was not ideal. But we didn’t want to wait another week so we went anyway. It meant a lot of rock scrambling, and some unsuccessful wave dodging.

Some folk who live beachside on the Malibu coast strongly discourage ‘trespassers’. But it’s our legal right to traverse the beach/rocks up to the high tide line, and even higher if it is unsafe closer to the water. Which it kinda was, in a few places.

We happened upon a baby sealion up on the rocks, who we hope was OK. No mama in sight, but it didn’t look injured, as far as we could tell. We clambered on, getting wet up to our crotches. How we laughed.

it all feels right

It’s my first evening alone in my new home.

Just me and the ocean and the mourning doves. Oh, and the dog and two cats, of course.

No need to cook dinner, snacks will do. The upcoming weekend plans have radically simplified, so there’s no need to prep, to pack, to clean. (The Guy did a bunch of cleaning today, I can see that. So we’re good.)

I water the plants, and take photos from new angles. I stand on the cliff’s edge, watching the pelicans fly home, and let my shoulders drop as the waves crash in. No need to hold the world up.

Sometimes I wonder what I am doing, why I am here. In this place, in this life. Do you ever wonder that, or do you know the answer, without question?

Tonight I listen to the ocean, and the doves, and it all feels right.

Oh my, I needed this.

coming home






Now, instead of turning into the winding canyon as I drive home from work, I climb a small hill above the ocean. I pause at the top of the driveway to check the mail, and breathe in the briny view and the homestead below. This is where I live.

Man and dog greet me happily. He shows me the wall he’s been building, and the hummingbird nest he found. Then I go inside to start dinner while he waters the trees.

friends and food

At last my longtime friends came for sunset-viewing and dinner. About time :-)

I need to feed more people in 2014. There hasn’t been enough of it lately. But cooking and serving up to a table of friends just feels right sometimes. A lot of the time. Except when I don’t want to :-)



Travelling is fun. So is coming home.


up the hill


I planted lavender by the steps up the hill. I love imagining that scruffy slope in five and ten years, when the trees are big. Planting is such a metaphor for life.

steely dan sang it


Here come those Santa Ana winds again. Now that I live in a fire-prone area, they bring more than chapped lips; they evince some real anxiety. They’re not called the devil winds for nothing.

wife and wife

#wedding on the #beach @lolalynneandlucy

Thank you, SCOTUS, for finally allowing my dear friends to become legally wedded wife and wife.







Saturday had some difficult moments, as others made their surprising expectations known. Yesterday we climbed a big hill and talked about it all: dreams and plans, us and them, the life we could possibly craft together. In a world of unknowns and uncertainties, one thing is feeling more and more sure: I want to be with him.



With every plant and pot I bring, I feel more invested. Not financially. Emotionally. I’m planting a garden again. It feels so, so good.

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